Almost two months ago I made the decision to stay home from work in order to ensure proper care for my father. During this time, I learned some valuable lessons. I also began therapy and really enjoy it so far; my therapist seems to be a good match. In today’s post I want to share with you how awareness, acceptance, accountability, and action have changed both my perspective and life.
Awareness is a must for personal development and self-reflection is an essential tool to becoming self-aware. You have to be able to sit down and objectively analyze your experiences in order to make changes that will make you a better version of yourself. Sef-reflection will increase your awareness of self and others. Becoming more aware will increase your ability to appropriately place accountability for your experiences and identify what action needs to be taken. Here are a few things I have become aware of:
- There is no way that you can make decisions for someone else, regardless of how pure your intentions are.
- I can do it alone, but I do not want to.
- I make poor financial decisions.
- I care too much about what my family thinks of me.
- I doubt myself a lot.
- People often use me.
- When I have a lot of things on my plate I do not eat because I do not know where to start.
There’s no secret that we must “learn to accept the things we cannot control” but it is important to also be able to accept the hard truths of your reality. Life is not going to be easy. It never will. Your reality is not always going to be pretty or comforting. It will sometimes be sad, scary, and depressing. You don’t have to like or enjoy your reality, but you can. You can one day love your reality if you become aware of what it is, accept the fact that things are that way for now, figure out why your reality is what it is, and take action to change it.
When speaking of accountability, I am not discussing that of others. It is not about identifying who to blame for certain life experiences, it is about identifying what you need to take accountability for in regard to those experiences. You don’t need to blame yourself for what happened, you just have to become aware of your role, why you played that role, and accept that which you take accountability for. You must then identify what action is needed to relieve yourself of that role in the future. Here are some of the things I have recently taken accountability for:
- I allow people to mistreat me.
- I take on more than I need to.
- I do not always speak up for myself.
- I cut people off too easily.
- I do not share my feelings.
You don’t just go from not knowing to knowing, broke to rich…there is a space you must travel through to get to the other side. A space where hard work, consistency, and discipline are required. You have to do the work. This can and will look different depending on what you are wanting to change. Taking action can be going to therapy. applying for jobs and following up with them, getting a financial advisor, meal prepping, going to the gym, staying in bed all day, etc.
In other words, once you become aware of your reality you will be able to begin the process of accepting the fact that this is your now. Accepting your reality does not mean that you cannot change it. Accepting it will make it real, it will put things into perspective, it will allow you an opportunity to mold it into your dream. Taking accountability will give you the power you need to mold it. Knowing that you have control is what assures you that you can change it. But all of this will be for nothing if you do not take action. Do whatever it takes to be the person you want to be, to live the life you know you deserve.
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